December 2009
A woman was pregnant with triplets, 2 girls and 1...
kennethroque:
One day, she needed to go to the bank for some money, but when she got there, she arrived to find a robbery taking place.
The pregnant woman got shot by the criminal 3 times around the stomach.
When the woman went to the hospital the doctor said the triplets would be fine, but the operating would be too risky, so the bullets were left in.
16 years later, one of the girl triplets...
Monkey. POOP.
Vinny: -walks in with bowl of cereal-
Victor: What's that?
Vinny: Monkey poop.
Victor: -looks in bowl-
Victor: I'm gonna get me some monkey poop.
Victor: -gets cereal-
Vinny: How's that monkey poop?
Victor: Nastay.
Why do girls don't believe in what a guy says?
kennethroque:
A guy wants tell a girl that he wants to be with her, but she’s telling him he’ll just make a fool out of himself.
Nowonder you girls always end up broken hearted.
It's not what you wear, it's not what you give me,...
alliegatorrr:
galafatejonna:
ohmygawdlisa:
(via nicoleeumali)
LOL.
Sanders: I realized I don't wanna be a pickle.
Sanders: I wanna be a cucumber.
“Daaaaaamn Chinese”
– Sanders.
I'm disappointed in myself.
13833.) I know actions speak louder than words,...
alliegatorrr:
(via blogsecret)
“I wanna marry you cause you’re the first person I wanna look at when I wake up...”
– Definitely, Maybe (via poeticheartache) (via miryur)
B’s co-worker: Where’s your girlfriend?
Bryan: She’s sitting over there
Co-worker: Why don’t you marry her?
Bryan: Nahhh it’s cool
Co-worker: Come on! Do it! I’ll help you. Ask her to marry you! (via wordsthatburnpeople)
NOOO.
Victor: -Walks in with a cup-
Vinny: Oooooh lemme have some.
Victor: -Hands me the cup-
Vinny: -about to drink- OHH GOD.
Vinny: I'M SOOO DISAPPOINTED.
Victor: HAHAHA, it's milk.
Pickle.
uwantsometofu: my new year resolution is to become a pickle
uwantsometofu: i be like an assassin
uwantsometofu: and tat be like my cover
uwantsometofu: LOL
Happy8months
I was watching Phineas and Ferb and the kids turned small because of an invention, and the boy got stuck up on top of a chandelier thing and he had to survive, so when the other kids came to save him, he came outside of inside of a fly. “I HATE WHAT I HAVE TO DO TO SURVIVE” omg I laughed.
Oh well, aside from that. It’s Linh and my eight months ! :D
Eight months, can you...
Some true shit
eqohz:
mik0:
ameezy:
There are other people who think differently ‘bout this shit. But I have come to the conclusion that this is merely because people don’t know what stance to take on the situation. Everyone has been on both sides of the fence. Most of us have experienced a jealous lover and many of us have been in a relationship where we curiously find ourselves being insecure and jealous...
I found it worth reading.
kevinndoxd:
f-ckn:
“A father passing by his son’s bedroom was astonished to see that his bed was nicely made and everything was picked up. Then he saw an envelope, propped up prominently on the pillow that was addressed to ‘Dad.’
With the worst premonition he opened the envelope with trembling hands and read the letter.
Dear Dad:
It is with great regret and sorrow that...
24 hours till liftoff.
